The South Park Movie was the best movie in history, not only because
it
is funny, but because it satirizes useless social taboos, like the
tabboo against saying the F word. It is a musical based on the South
Park cartoon show on Comedy Central. The four main characters, who are
all 8 years old, are Stan, who wears a blue hat and throws up every
time
his girlfriend Wendy talks to him; Kyle, who wears a green hat and is
Jewish; Kenny McCormick, the little kid in an orange coat who gets
killed in almost every episode of the cartoon show; and Eric Cartman,
the fat kid who eats cheesy poofs and chocolate chicken pot pies. All
four of them watch Terrance and Phillip, a vulgar cartoon show that is
on TV every afternoon in South Park. These little pieces of information
are essential to understanding the movie.
The movie began with an opening song about how South Park, Colorado,
is
a "cute little redneck white trash mountian town." Stan, Kyle, Kenny,
Cartman, and Kyle's two year old brother Ike go to the movie theatre to
see the new Terrance and Phillip Movie, Asses of Fire. The guy at the
box office won't let them in, since the movie is rated R. So they hired
a bum to pretend to be their dad. The guy at the box office let them
in,
and the movie began with lots of farts. With each fart more and more
people, including the bum, left the movie theatre until only Stan,
Kyle,
Kenny, Cartman, and Ike were left. Then Terrence and Phillip started
calling each other donkey fuckers, pig fuckers, etc. Ike, not knowing
what any of these words meant, randomly said, "half assed donkey
fucko."
Then they started dancing around and singing a song that went something
like this:
Fucking shut your face, uncle fucka!
You're a boner biting bastard, uncle fucka!
You fuck your uncle every day...
Then they showed the five kids walking out of the movie theatre
laughing. They went straight to a pond, where all their friends were
ice
skating. After the five kids cussed out everyone else, Stan was
dismayed
to find that Wendy had a new boyfriend, Gregory. Gregory had an English
accent and bragged about how he had a 4.0 GPA. Suddenly, Cartman said,
"I saw the Terrene and Phillip movie! Who wants to touch me! I said who
wants to fucking touch me!"
Kenny touched Cartman, and Cartman said, "Kenny, I hate you!!"
The trouble really started at school the next day when the four kids
cussed out their teacher, Mr. Garrison. They got sent to the guidance
counsellor's office. The only other kid who was there was Craig, and he
gets sent there every day for giving people the finger. The guidance
counsellor called in their parents, and while being interrogated
Cartman
admitted to learning bad words by seeing the Terrance and Phillip
movie.
Kyle's mother was outraged.
In order to avoid giving away everything funny in the movie, I'm only
going to summarize the rest of the movie. Kyle's mom immediately got to
work forming an organization called MAC, which stands for "Mothers
Against Canada." (Terrence and Phillip were supposed to be Canadian.)
This was obviously intended to poke fun at MADD.
Within days the guidance counsellor was holding rehabilitation
sessions
in school, in which kids learned less offensive terms for bad words.
Now
seriously, there is no *objective* reason why the word "ass" is
offensive and "buns" isn't, but then again the guidance counselor's not
an Objectivist. After the rehabilitation session, the students got the
rest of the day off from school for personal reflection, during which
time Stan, Kyle, Kenny, and Cartman saw the Terrance and Phillip movie
again. On the way out of the movie, Cartman and Kenny were arguing
about
whether or not it's possible to light a fart in fire like Terrance and
Phillip did, so Kenny proved it's possible by doing it himself. He had
to be rushed to the hospital, where his heart was replaced with a baked
potato.
You're on your own to find out about the rest of the movie; I don't
want to give it all away. I will tell you this: the rest of the movie
showcases the evils of war, the pitfalls of nationalism, and the power
of words.
